You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
