my sisters under your porch take her home
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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