discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
