Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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