dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
