Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
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Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
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Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
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