There is no way he is gay with that hair.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
