just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
