I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
