I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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