The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize