People in love make me want to vomit
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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