found the other keg... it's in the tree
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
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it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
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Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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