What did we do last night that was yellow?
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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