; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
