You're so nebulous sometimes
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
