ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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