He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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