Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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