Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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