if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize