think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
