oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
