guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Randomize
