LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
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