OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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