I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
