need another drink. this is the easiest way
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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