Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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