i already hear my dad disowning me
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
