We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
