hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
