Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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