did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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