You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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