so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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