so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
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