He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Randomize
