So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
