those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
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We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
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I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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