i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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