Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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