remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
