I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
