is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
They took my balls.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
