Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
