Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Randomize
