I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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