I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
