Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
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she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize