I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
