a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
