ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize