you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize