I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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