I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
