did you get engaged???
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
