hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
